Settling Down
Not settling for less – by any measure or means.
Reverb10 Daily Prompt – December 6th
Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
This question seems made for me. I’m glad to have a question that eases up in the sense of seriousness, as I was beginning to feel extremely internalized – a rare occurrence for a rambler such as myself. Not that the results from the previous reflections weren’t well intentioned or received. I absolutely welcome any moment to realize something about myself that I wasn’t previously aware of. It’s been refreshing and what I need to start to let go, in a way, as my previous response allowed me to see.
What was the last thing I made? As an architecture major that seems like a trick question. I recently completed my final project for my studio class, and it was actually a really fun project. I used the typical materials (basswood, foam core, chipboard, etc..) and a few new ones (air-dry clay, some pretty ribbon for material differentiation, etc..). The model was for a project that I didn’t really have a chance to fully develop, though, and the more I think about it – I wished I would have put in a little more time and effort to really fully realize the project’s potential.
But as far as what I want to make? Call me a broken record, but I want to create a life for myself. Don’t get me wrong – I have lived a very blessed and fulfilled life. I have just recently decided that it’s time to create my OWN life as an adult and to create a home for myself, by myself. Even the simple question on facebook “Where is your hometown” elicits quite the blank face. I’ve always considered my hometown to be wherever my family is.
So here I am: a 24-year-old architecture student, living alone in one of the most amazing cities in the world, working on becoming a responsible adult in all aspects of life (financial, mental, emotional, ethical, moral, etc..). And that means that I am well placed to truly become a woman of substance and intellect – in fact I have no excuse not to, it’s now my calling of sorts. When I first made this goal a focus of my current decisions, I must admit I was really conflicted. I felt like it was a disregard of my family and everything they’ve sacrificed for me, and that making these decisions and writing these thoughts down that I’ve had for so long were somehow showing a lack of appreciation or an ungrateful attitude toward them. But I’ve reached a moment of clarity that was actually motivated by writing this all down and working it out – imagine that. I’ve found that by establishing my identity, I don’t estrange myself from my family and friends who helped to shape me into who I am today – I actually start to reflect them in a way that shows gratitude instead of just expressing it verbally. If the person I become is someone they can be proud of, it’s a reverent thank you that shows what a great job they did. And in my opinion, I like who I am changing into – so thank you to everyone who had and still actively has a part in the metamorphosis. And all of this actually starts to answer not only today’s prompt, but also one of the first that I happened to miss on December 1st:
One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
Current Word: Vagabond. (see entry on 6/7/09)
Future Word: Settled (see above)
You know, when I read and began to respond to today’s prompt, I was disappointed in my original thought process and direction. Now? I’m kind of proud. Thanks to the world for passively allowing me to talk at you – even if it’s only through indifference. I love you and am truly thankful for your apparent perpetual ears.
